Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I Want My MTV! The Video Companion to spacesick's Awesomely 80's Halloween Horror METALFEST

as an unexpected drinking game: do a shot every time I mention Ozzy Osbourne or Alice Cooper!

1) Alice Cooper - He's Back (The Man Behind the Mask)
from Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

I love this fucking song with all my heart and eternal soul. no joke. Alice always had the most fun lyrics, and this badboy is no exception. and that includes "ch-ch-ch! ah-ah-ah!" when you check out the video, watch Jason get buddy-buddy with Alice and then totally sike him out at the end.


2) Dokken - Dream Warriors
from A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

no way... Patricia Arquette as an unlikely hero with PSYCHIC ABILITIES?! I refuse to believe it. hey little Mitch Fun Fact™ here: for the longest time, my friend and I had a call-and-response thing going where every time he would mention this movie's title, I had to promptly reply by singing "DREEEEEAM WARRRIOOORRRRS!" it was fun. kinda. you don't care.

check out Dokken beat down Freddy with the power of metal. and stick around til it finishes for an hilarious surprise ending. shazam!


3) The Dudes of Wrath - Shocker
from Shocker (1989)

best supergroup name ever! the Dudes were a fucking powerhouse of metal that included Kiss's Paul Stanley and that one guy from "Tommy Lee Goes to College."


4) Motorhead - Hellraiser
from Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)

okay, this I just gotta mention, because it's too cool for school. originally released by Ozzy Osbourne on his 1991 No More Tears album (one of my favorites, bitches!), this awesome motherfucker was penned by the unholy trinity of Ozzy, Zakk Wylde, and Lemmy himself, and re-recorded by Motorhead for Hellraiser III. check out the awesomely early-90's metal video that ends with Lemmy kicking Pinhead's ass in poker. BAM!


5) 45 Grave - Party Time (Zombie Version)
from The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

off one of the best horror soundtracks of the 80's, loaded with punk, new wave, and metal goodness. and the movie freakin rules! basically if you haven't seen this one, then we can't be friends. so come over and let's go rent it, or else gimme back my "Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em" tape.


6) AC/DC - Who Made Who?
from Maximum Overdrive (1986)

when the trucks of the world decide to rise up and fight back against us humans, Emelio Estevez is our only hope. obviously! and an AC/DC greatest hits record is the only possibile soundtrack. a high five to that crazy bastard Stephen King too (<3), otherwise we might not have been blessed with the addition of this new single to the AC/DC arsenal.


7) Dramarama - Anything, Anything
from A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

fast and whiney. and totally 80's. Learn it. Know it. Live it.


8) The Fat Boys - Are You Ready for Freddy
from A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

yeah I'll be ready right after I return Krush Groove to the video store.


9) J. Geils Band - Fright Night
from Fright Night (1985)

every time I see Fright Night, I love it even more. and the J. Geils theme song doesn't hurt, I tells ya.


10) The Dickies - Killer Klowns from Outer Space
from Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

not one of my favorite flicks, but a damn fun tune.


11) - Divinyls - Back to the Wall
from A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

Chrissie Amphlett is just plain yummy.


12) Tim Cappello - I Still Believe
from The Lost Boys (1987)

with the voice of an angel, the taught, rippling muscles of lesbian bodybuilder, and a gladiator costume of such masculine beauty rarely seen outside of Wrestlemania itself, it's no wonder Tim Cappello's performance in The Lost Boys was more late night Cinemax than music video. this song always had a special place in my heart. speaking of which... brb, I've gotta find my old Red Shoe Diaries tapes that I recorded off tv before I could legally buy actual porn.


13) Ozzy Osbourne - Secret Loser
from The Wraith (1986)

I know my calculus. it says Charlie Sheen's drag racing ghost + "The Prince of Fucking Darkness" = good clean fun!


14) Ian Hunter - Good Man in a Bad Time
from Fright Night (1985)

can you say "smoothest motherfucking vampire alive?!" you could, but that would be a misnomer. because vampires are the undead, stupid. even so, any ancient evil who still hits the clubs has got to know where the action is. don't believe me? well watch as Jack Skellington himself seduces Marcy D'Arcy right in front of her Mannequin 2: On the Move boyfriend. and in that sweater, no less! now that's balls right there. vampire balls.

I wouldn't reccomend watching the entire clip, however, as its intensity has been known to induce mass amounts of jean creaming.


15) Michael Sembello - Rock Until You Drop
from The Monster Squad (1987)

oh yes. the "She's A Maniac" guy. Wolfman's got nards, indeed!


16) Metropolis - The Darkest Side of the Night
from Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

this song is so cold and empty, and it scares the fucking shit out of me. there, I said it. and even though most of the flick is snoozeville (they don't even GET to New York til the end of the movie), I still manage to catch it every year or so around Halloween time.


17) Autograph - You Can't Hide from the Beast Inside
from Fright Night (1985)

the same guys who told you to "Turn Up The Radio" now inform you about the dangers of Restless Leg Syndrome. or something. in any event, it rocks.

18) Fastway - Trick or Treat
from Trick or Treat (1986)

look! somebody was nice enough to put up Ozzy's cameo as a crusading anti-rock televangelist. thanks, youtube!


19) Megadeth - No More Mr. Nice Guy
from Shocker (1989)

"me, a nice guy? yeah righhhhht!" haha. love.

"But Mitch!" you must be imploring, "I thought you worship the ground Alice Cooper bleeds on! what the hell are you doing pimping out a goofy cover of the man's most famous work?" well that's simple, young one; it's because Megadeth is Megadeth. AND it's okay to like it because Alice fucking Cooper himself "raps" on another track on the album, by a certain metal supergroup called The Dudes of Wrath. you've got to hear the rest of the album, if not for that one track! like omigod srsly!


20) Gerard McMann - Cry Little Sister (Theme from The Lost Boys)
from The Lost Boys (1987)

you know it, you love it. the song that I like to imagine countless young goth chicks lost their virginity to: Cry Little Sister.

also, I heard this played at a strip club once. ONCE. and it was awesome. mmm... vampire boobies.


21) The Ramones - Pet Sematary
from Pet Sematary (1989)

desperate, hopeless, and chilling. this song is so perfect, there's no need for words. just FEEL.


22) Goo Goo Dolls - I'm Awake Now
from Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

(mostly) pre-wuss rock Goo Goo Dolls! man... I remember them coming to town back around this time, and even though I was too young to go to the concert, some cop friend of my dad's snagged me a backstage autograph. woohoo! I hope I still have that around here somewheres. maybe I could it pawn it to help pay for tickets to the Ozzy Osbourne & Rob Zombie show in Detroit at Joe Louis Arena on Tuesday, December 18 (drink, bitch!).

lol @ Alice Cooper making it into the video towards the end there


Bonus Tracks:

Do The Freddy (1987)

"I'm Freddy, and this is for YOU! AHAHAHA!"

Operating Instructions for Your New Freddy™ (see fig 1a)

1) Kick your feet up.
2) Swing your arms up too.
3) Move your head both ways like you see him do.
4) Then jump 3 feet to the swinging beat of The Freddy.
5) Make Johhny Depp's matress eat him alive and spew a torrential river of blood all over the ceiling (optional).

just listen.


Weird Al Yankovic - Nature Trail to Hell (1984)

oh you used to listen to him and you know it.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007


and I'm going to kick wintermonkey in the balls.

wintermonkey said...

oooooohhhhhhhh.... i get it now. you drew a blank!
shit. that's very funny.

April 27, 2007 10:32 AM

I do it because I care, baby. why do you make me hit you?!