Monday, December 11, 2006

Q: Are those space pants? (See Reverse For Answer)

This is just a doodle that I managed to find the time for the other day. I call it "Hey Moon Vampire Einstein... Are Those SPACE PANTS?" and when I see it I hear bassoon-laden go-go beat biker theramin jazz rock. Or I will whenever I decide to finish it.


Kick-ass colors by fellow blogger and all-round little rascal Justin White! Ch-check it out! He's had about a million shirts printed over at Threadless and he's only like 12 years old. If I'm lying, I challenge him to defy me. Thank you, jublin! I asked and I received. And it rules. *roundhouse kick*

(A: Yes.)

Monday, November 27, 2006

It's so totally art! BEHOLD!

an octopus

a customizable He-Man template


I know you care, so why don't I tell you what I've been up to! I was working two jobs (that's bad), but now I'm back to one (that's good). I don't have internet access on my computer (that's bad), but I do still draw every day (that's good). I watched Under Siege on TV last night (that's good), but then it made me think about that awful Under Siege 2 (still with this?).

So that's why I haven't been paying particular attention the "blogosphere" lately. Also, I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!

That was fun. See ya soon!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Here I go again! (on my own)

Hey what a goofy-lookin' bastard! Oh wait that's me. Crap! I sketched it last night and I'm kinda proud of it, I must say. Mayhaps it could use a splash of color, though. Mayhaps indeed, methinks.

I'm back, baby! You have to imagine George Costanza yelling it.

Also, Whitesnake fucking rules. *rock!*

Sunday, July 09, 2006

You can ring my bell!

Just some stuff from a "draw another blogger" thread at one of my forums. It was kinda fun since I never draw people I know.
And hey, feel free to check out some of the kick-ass blogs over there >>> that you might not have seen before! They're mostly good people, who still think this is a good town.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do it's usually something unusual.

Do you ever have that dream where you're making a name for yourself in the underground San Francisco art scene with a run of surprisingly successful comics and a brand new line of designer T-shirts when a weekend of congratulatory boozing with your friends turns into a month of coke-fueled debauchery that leads you to a luxurious bed in the vacation suite of Dana and Milena, the most beautiful lesbian power-couple in New York City, and when young Dana, owner of a chic string of galleries scattered about the city and the forever-seductive Milena, editor of the hip non-zine IRONIQUE, the rag that essentially makes and breaks the names of the scene's "who's who" in art, offer to make you the hottest thing to hit town since Ghostbusters II, you boldly accept their forbidden sex pact with wide-eyed moxie and a "ready to change the world" vigor...

...but soon the voracious black hole that is fame saps away your talent and zest for life, and somewhere along the way, between the nightly cocktail parties and club openings, you realize that... that you can't find true happiness in snorting a line of coke off of Alan Cumming's ass... but that happiness comes with time, in the personal goals you accomplish, the many roads you travel, and the friends you meet along the way?

I've never had that dream. But I'll probably try tonight.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Hey asshole! I ain't dead yet.

Holy shitballs of Antioch! I haven't posted in over a month or stopped by in weeks. Sorry, baby.

I'd like to say that I've been busy working hard at my fantastic new art job, but what are ya gonna do? Nothin! That's what. On the bright side, I have had a lot of time to work on my poetry, and buy many patterned scrapbooking scissors, and my azaleas are coming in beautifully this year.

I drew this today just for you, as a thank you. I'll update with colors tomorrow. I think I love you.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The One Where Mitch Posts A Bunch of Stuff and Ross Asks Rachel To Marry Him

The spirit of Frank Wastelayer is standing over my shoulder and speaking to me, much like Conan did to his author Robert E. Howard. He says "finish me, weakling, or I will surely cleave you in twain, or at least not pick you up from the airport, even though you will be expecting me." It shall be done.

I dropped my Heart Monster into a new "character design community" called Mojizu a while back, which the great Drawn! has since profiled. I'm still not quite sure what to make of it, but any place to discover some new interesting artists is fine by me. I've seen one or two familiar faces over there so far, but nobody I really know. And if it keeps growing like it has been, then it might become a pretty cool place to hang out.

Now that the temp well has dried up, I have nothing to do but sit at home all day and draw. Yeah!!! I'll be posting as much hand-drawn sketches as I can in the next few weeks in the hopes that you, my wonderful fake-friends, might let me know what is up to snuff. That way I can mail off as many portfolios as I can on Friday, May 19. So if you know of any company that you even slightly think might possibly look at me with some interest, I'd love it if you'd let me know by AIM or e-mail. I'm looking for any art job whatsoever, anything to break into the industry, and I'll work my ass off to prove it.

And no, I don't "just think I'm so funny." Not really. Well maybe the Jamie Farr head... haha. I laughed. Twice!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


You see how much I care about work? When I have a job, I dedicate my entire body and soul to the company. It's all about honor, just like in the great American classic Gung Ho (1986).

I think I'll spend my free time tomorrow checking out all the amazing art in the blogs that I missed in the last few weeks. You guys kick ass.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Frank Wastelayer: Private Detective

Ill be updating every night this week with crud from one of my dream projects, Frank Wastelayer: Private Detective. So come back if you feel like it. Word to your motha.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Watch This Space (UPDATE ON MONDAY)

Update on Monday!!!

I don't have stage fright; that would be ridiculous.

Now look away, I can't do it with you watching.

I decree that the next post will contain no less than 3 and no more than 6 of the following sweet-ass things:

a crooked sheriff
an unlikely hero
gun-slinging bounty hunters
killer robots
sword-wielding warriors
hordes of the walking dead
his Dark Lord, Satan
a wicked spaceship
Hulk Hogan

Spring Fling

Last week's Illustration Friday. Trying something new.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

"Spring Cleaning" or "You work hard, so I don't have to."



I'm showing you my Illustration Friday failures so I can move on and sink my teeth into this week's theme. I'm starting "Spring" right now, so it will definitely be done by Thursday this time. Kapow!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Goth Chick™ Brand Frozen Novelties


It scored in at a very Samuel L. Jackson 1.87 out of 5. I had no illusions that it would get printed anyway, so I can't complain. I think I'll go watch Addams Family Values now. Fun!

Sorry if you checked back looking for some art anytime in the last... week and a half?! Jesus Christ, that's a long time!

It seems I just kept forgetting, though I did manage to put together a new shirt design for over at Threadless a few days back. A real design this time, with some thought behind it, and actual drawings, and other silly stuff like that. I really should have posted it around and asked for some honest critiques before I sent it off, but I'm an idiot. In addition to the normal rat-race, it's also in the running for a contest called "Extra Tasty." Yum! Submission - Goth Chick™ Brand Frozen Novelties

This probably didn't help me any either, but I sure laughed my ass off making it! And isn't that really all that matters in life? Oh wait- crap.

So go vote, if you're already a member. Hell, go register if you're not. I'll repay you with meaningless thanks and empty promises of a trip to the zoo. And as always, your thoughts on how to improve it are welcome. I wouldn't mind eventually being able to toss this in my portfolio.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Whaddya know- Kool-Aid *is* still good after ten years in the cupboard!

Edit: What the heck?! I'm on Boing Boing! Thanks, Sacks!


Anybody remember my Self-Esteem Points joke? No? Oh, okay. Well I had fun anyway, so there.

I was completely floored the other day when I was named the winner of Sacks' Fat Albert contest! Surprise! If you haven't already checked out all of the fantastic entries, do so now. It's great to see so many amazing artists celebrating the classic cartoon!

Now that I have all of these Self-Esteem Points, I'm anxious to spend them. I could use all of them right now and get the Super Nintendo, a plastic Ducktales kite, and a commemorative Charles In Charge totebag, but I think I'm gonna keep saving them up and go for that bitchin' Ego! Or a mountain bike.

But seriously- Thanks for all of the kick-ass comments and kind words lately! I think I'll let this go to my head, just this once.


Also- Help yourself to a Saved by the Bell song that's still alive.


Zack Attack - Friends Forever

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Cosby. Russell Cosby.

Russell is my contribution to Sacks's's "Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids" Throwback Thursday challenge.

Those Cosby Kids sure had fun learning lessons and playing in their junk band. When I think of all the found garbage I played with as a kid, I'm just glad I had all my shots.

--- Free Crap! ---

TV Party has the real lowdown on the show. A good read for any fan.

Here are some amazing production sketches and other bits from the original Fat Albert special, which I haven't yet had the chance to see. Argh.

This site has a couple of Fat Albert-related tracks originally from Cosby's live 1967 album "Revenge" up for download. I suggest you check 'em out.

Old Weird Harold
Fat Albert (Buck Buck)

And what would this party be without Herbie Hancock's classic theme song? Nothin'. That's what.


Haha! 5 minutes + hour-long "Grounded For Life" break + 8 minutes = New World Record! I am the greatest!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Random stuff I did today

I managed to find some work this week, so the only sketching I did was on a legal pad disguised as official business. By the time I got home every day, I just wanted to watch TV and go to bed. Harumph.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Dragons and Robots and Hot Warrior Chicks

I don't know. I really don't.

I can't believe I almost missed this: VH1 is starting a new special called "I Love Toys" today. It's a week-long deal like "I Love the 80's." Should be good. I mean... it's about toys for goodness sake.

Here's the site.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Dig Dug + More 80's Goodness!

I'm just posting this work in progress so I can feel like I accomplished something today. You can bet your ass that it'll be finished by Saturday, though. I kinda like this one, and I hope it hasn't been done before.


We apologize for the childish whimpering that once occupied this precious space. It was the sort of drivel that should be reserved for teenage girls' diaries, and so many unviewed LiveJournal pages.

Those responsible have been sacked.


In any event, here are some inspirational 80's classics to help you in your own training. And don't worry if you start to crap thunder, that's how ya know it's working! (mp3)

from Rocky III, Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
from Karate Kid, Joe "Bean" Esposito - You're The Best
and from Transformers: the Movie, Stan Bush - The Touch

If there's a premium Rapidshare user out there who would be interested in trading with me for a free account, I'd be ever so grateful. That way I could start posting some real high-quality shiz.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Boopadoopadoop! Bananaphone?

No, silly! It's just a regular old 400 points-earning banana. I'm not quite sure if the rounded rectangle is helping or hurting the design. Any thoughts?

Next: Shading!

Edit: I guess it's not completely evident that this is supposed to be Donkey Kong Junior. Either it's just a bad design, or the game wasn't as big to others as it was to me. Or maybe it's both. I'm still going to finish it, though. It makes me laugh.

If you don't have a Bananaphone, you can use this one. (mp3)

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I'm Learning How To Paint

I need to find a job. And quick, too.

I wonder if Target's hiring.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Look, Ma ... No Wee-Wee Jokes!

Should I be trying to impress people? Probably. Am I smart enough to only share finished pieces? No. Can the unbridled comedic electricity between Highway to Heaven co-stars Michael Landon and Victor French ever be equaled? Only time will tell.

I'm going to bust out the Little Golden Books and see if I can teach myself to paint this sketch over the next couple of days. I sure hope I can. Adieu.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Squeeze My Monster! (But Don't Squeeze the Charmin)


Thanks a lot to everyone who's been saying such cool stuff! You guys are way too nice. I hope that if I save up enough Self-Esteem Points I can mail away for a real-live Ego.


Anyway, my T-shirt design just went up at Threadless, if anybody wants to head on over and judge it accordingly. It's up for 7 days. Just click that big ol' button up there.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Little Penelope Ella Chiffon, Could Only Tell Time When the TV Was On

A juvenile poem inspired by something Dave Chappelle said on Inside the Actors Studio last night, and all of Shel Silverstein's stuff that I loved as a kid.

This story about a kid who can only tell time by watching TV started off so freakin' funny and totally whacked-out, but the craziness kind of got whittled down as I was drawing this cutesy little elephant. I'm actually surprised at how tame and "8-year-old-girly" the whole damn thing now comes off as.

It still ends with the Monkey Doctor sticking a TV antenna into the kid's head, though. So that's something. I'd like to post what I have done, but I think it still needs to be polished.

And to show that I'm not all "Pretty Princesses" I also churned out

"The Unfortunate Story of Jennifer Reeve,
and the Day That Her Nipples Decided to Leave"

Why the hell did I just type so much?! Nobody wants to see that, especially me!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

"The Flintstones for Winston Cigarettes!" or "How Little Pebbles Developed Bronto-Bronchitis"

This awesome collector was nice enough to upload these classic Flintstones clips at my humble request, so all credit goes to him.

Truth: Winston tastes good, like a cigarette should!

Poor little Pebbles.

Next time: "Yabba Dabba Doobie! or "The Real Story Behind Drug Abuse and Doping In The Laff-A-Lympics"

Monday, February 06, 2006

You're A Terrible, Terrible Man

I decided to join for some giggles. I don't expect to win or anything, it just looks like a fun place to hang out.

I wonder if "Squeeze My Monster" is too vulgar. Yes, I wonder. Any thoughts are welcome.

I also wonder if they still make Squeezits. Somewhere in life between the tiny boxes of Ecto Cooler and the ulcer-forming amounts of Mountain Dew, I had one of those bad-boys every day at lunch. Hooray for nutrition!

And this may interest some-

X-Entertainment's Search for Ecto Cooler

Well that's one mystery solved!

Thursday, February 02, 2006


In honor of me drawing this terrible likeness of Richard Benjamin's Adam Quark, I present a real treat to anybody lucky enough to be stopping by. Some very generous nerd-type is offering the entire 8-episode run of Buck Henry's sci-fi spoof series for download. Buck is the guy who co-created the American television classic "Get Smart" with Mel Brooks, and has been featured in god-knows-how-many of those SNL retrospectives.

I say go for it, especially if you've never seen the show. And let me know what you think of it, too.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006