Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do it's usually something unusual.

Do you ever have that dream where you're making a name for yourself in the underground San Francisco art scene with a run of surprisingly successful comics and a brand new line of designer T-shirts when a weekend of congratulatory boozing with your friends turns into a month of coke-fueled debauchery that leads you to a luxurious bed in the vacation suite of Dana and Milena, the most beautiful lesbian power-couple in New York City, and when young Dana, owner of a chic string of galleries scattered about the city and the forever-seductive Milena, editor of the hip non-zine IRONIQUE, the rag that essentially makes and breaks the names of the scene's "who's who" in art, offer to make you the hottest thing to hit town since Ghostbusters II, you boldly accept their forbidden sex pact with wide-eyed moxie and a "ready to change the world" vigor...

...but soon the voracious black hole that is fame saps away your talent and zest for life, and somewhere along the way, between the nightly cocktail parties and club openings, you realize that... that you can't find true happiness in snorting a line of coke off of Alan Cumming's ass... but that happiness comes with time, in the personal goals you accomplish, the many roads you travel, and the friends you meet along the way?

I've never had that dream. But I'll probably try tonight.


wintermonkey said...

oh glorious day!!!!!!!!
not just a post, but an exclamation. "Hey World! Get the Fuck Out My Way! I'm Mitch, Dammit!"

great stuff. i really dig the little fellow with the irony tattoo. keep 'em coming. i'll be sleeping sweetly tonight. thank you.

vulcanhalfbreed said...

In your "artists rendering" photo, you bear a striking resemblence to Evinrude, the dragonfly from The Rescuers (that is, if Evinrude were a coke-snorting swinger with Fibonacci swirl tattoos on his arm...if he had any).

Also, there is one major inaccuracy in this blog entry. It IS actually possible to find complete happiness in snorting lines of methamphetamines off of Alan Cummings ass. Just look at Sean Hayes.

spacesick said...

dearest wintermonkey - that is EXACTLY what I was trying to say, dammit! I love how you just GET IT. thanks dude. I'll have the butler bring you some orange juice and ginger crackers for when you wake up.

dearestER vulcan - if you would have told me 5 minutes ago that I could want to be Sean Hayes any more than I already did... I'da said you were crazy! (psst... weeknights at 11 on Lifetime: entertainment for women)

Goobeetsablog said...

didn't Terry Gilliam direct this one?

Spacesick goes to Hollywood
and the inevitable holiday tie-in special Christmas Spacesick goes to Hollywood

nice designs as always.

UrbanBarbarian said...

...I have hairy knuckles...

Trevor Pitt said...

No, never had THAT dream. But I did have one where I was gettin' jiggy with Natalie Portman and Alf poked his head through the window and yelled out "Yo Willie!"...but that's only because I ate food past midnight.

I thought "irony" is what you do when your clothes are wrinkled? Oops, I think I may need to add an "ing" to that word...after all, that's what helped Alan Cumm's jump from porn to Hollywood.

Angela said...

Oh yeah, I have a similar dream all the time. Every hit of coke off of Cumming's ass brings me closer to the edge of despair, until my friends come and whisk me away to a P Diddy penguins-floating-on-icebergs party.


Wetterschneider said...

I have hairy toe knuckles. And so does Alan.

blablabla said...

i like the irony pic especially how the irony tatoo doesnt fir right where you can see it

good job


ps www.anarchyrulz.proboards47.com go to the graphics page and go on mikes stuff then you'll see sum of my photo editing pretty sick if o do say so myself